How NOT to Design an Email Campaign

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People love getting yelled at. They never get enough verbal abuse from
their family, coworkers, and fellow commuters. So, go ahead SHOUT AT
THEM. Hey, if you're lucky, maybe they'll return the favor.

2. Include your URL (website
address) from the very beginning.

While you're at it, go ahead and tell them what they're getting for
Christmas and how all the magic tricks are done. No one likes surprises
or suspense. Don't give them any mystery or let any excitement build.
What do you think this is supposed to be, interesting or something??

3. Write long, wordy paragraphs.

You want to tell them everything you possibly can and it should all be
in one looooong paragraph. This is the same principle that applies to
first dates. Tell them everything about you all in one breath. No
letting little things come out over time. No surprises or explanations.
Bonus points if you can get them to go cross eyed while trying to read

4. Overdo the personalization feature.

Everyone loves to hear their own name. Make sure you include it in
every sentence. This way, they know it was done manually and not by a
computer program. Because surely those computer programs have limits of
say 20 or 30 names throughout the email.

5. Focus on yourself and not your prospect.

Let them know your wants, needs, and desires. Who cares about them? I
mean, jeez, wasn't putting their name in the email enough! Selfish,
selfish, selfish....

6. Stop Emailing them if you get no response.

Six or seven emails is plenty to send to someone. Just because you
still have their address and they haven't opted out yet, they're
obviously not interested. Besides, you don't have time to email them.
You're going to get that new computer you've been getting info on for
about a year now. You've finally decided to buy it. There seems to be
some irony here but you just can't put your finger on it.

7. Don't have a sense of humor.

No laughs, no stress relief measures, no wedgies. This is...


Re: How NOT to Design an Email Campaign wrote:

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Depends on the market. Sometimes in-your-face-cheap-and-cheerful works.

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Again, you can't white-wash. It really depends on what you are

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Sometimes works though; some less web savvy people are impressed. So,
once again, depends on your market.

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But then again some people are impressed. There are several ways of
marketing stuff online; quite often what my seem tacky, nasty, glib to
you or I may hit the spot with a particular market.

Anyway... basically... blah.

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