monitor problem on startup

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I'm having trouble with my laptop on startup.

It starts normally and shows my background photo fine at first, but by
the time it finishes the bootup sequence, it has reduced the resolution
to the lowest possible - 640 x 480.

When I first got it, it was fine. I started using it with a docking
station so that I could use my full size monitor and keyboard when
working at home. It was fine if I booted up with the laptop open, but
would screw up if I had it hooked to the monitor.

Then later, it started doing it with just the laptop. So, now, no
matter what, I have to go into the control panel, display, settings,
and change the resolution back to what I need.

I would like to have it permanently set to bootup at 1024 x 768 so that
is correct for the laptop monitor.

If possible, I would like it to recognize the external monitor and
remember the setting of 800 x 600. But it's okay if I have to manually
reset that one.

I am just really tired of having to manually set it every time I boot
the computer, regardless of which setup I am doing.

According to the display settings, it has the monitors listed as

1. Digital Flat Panel (1024x768) on Intel(R) Extreme Graphics
2. Default Monitor on INtel(R) Extremes Graphics Controller - 1

It lists #1 as the primary monitor. I tried to fix #2 to the higher
resolution too, but it always reverts back to 640x480, and I suspect
that this is the one trying to load on bootup.

How do I get it to save the correct settings like it used to?

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